day 45:positive thinking

May 19, 2010.

assalamualaikum.

good morning blog.

hurm.. something is haunting me. this is about what i have heard couple of days ago.. about sweetheart.

the fact is, "he has looking for a partner to bring along during the dinner last month."

he never told me about this before. i just wonder.. ok maybe he has informing me about the dinner but not about the partner.

it is true i cant accompany him because we are far in distance. he was in pahang and i was in johore.

seriously impossible for me to go to pahang just for the dinner.

but i..

i have to take this in positive way.

until now i am not sure either he bring any gal to the dinner or not. i have try to keep this secret but it is hard.

there is one time, i have try to ask him about this but i cant. i dont know how to start. then i just let the issue pending..

phew..

sometimes it is complicated. however, i never let this mess up my life. let this uncomfortable feelings go away!

i hope.. who ever he meet before and after this, his love for me is forever.

speaking about the partner, i have experienced it before. they must bring along a partner every time there held a dinner.

once, i have accompanied him last time during the training session. luckily i was in kl that time. some of his buddies need to bring along any gals..

i never complain about this. if you cant accept this tradition never get along with them.

so far i am doing fine. eh, am i fine? i guess, i am not. sigh.

let me clear this, i can accept this because my love to him is ever last. since this is a last month's story, so far i can handle myself.

if.. he mention about this earlier i guess i may not calm like what i am now. i assures in negative thinking or what so ever. well, who can sit peacefully if your love one is going dinner with any gals??

hu hu hu.

what ever it is. it was past.. like a month.

if he bring any gal, i cant say anything. i just hope they are just friends not more than that. *jealous mode.

*************************

he tried to invite his cousin to accompany him but she cant.. i am sorry, i cant help you too sweetheart.

sigh. deep down there, my heart silently crying.

p/s: syahira must think positive.
** since he is away out-station, i hope he did not read this.




xoxo,